For Better or For Worse

            “In the name of God, and with a thankful heart, I once again declare that I Beng Hong, take you Soo Guat, to be my wife…. for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer… until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.”

             It was evident she was waiting for this moment. Without skipping a beat, she continued where he left off, her words striking a resonance in the hearts of all present that night. Earnestly and purposefully, she spoke the words that she too once uttered, sixty years ago, under a flag different from the one that flew today.

             “I Soo Guat, take you Beng Hong, to be my husband, to have and to hold…. for better, for worse… to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.”

             It was a solemn vow they made that day, no less solemn than the one they made sixty years ago. “It was the war that brought us together,” he said. “But it was love that kept us together.” She outlined the secret of their love - God’s providence in their marriage, and the important lessons of patience, tolerance and perseverance.

             With tears in my eyes I remember that day, just last week, when my grandparents celebrated their sixtieth wedding anniversary, in the company of relatives and close friends. It was a night of celebration, a night of great joy and feasting. But above all it was a night to remember the love that they shared, and the memories that abounded in their lives.

             My grandparents didn’t have an easy life. They were married on 25^th March 1944, during a time when Singapore flew the wartime Japanese flag and when their wedding invitation was issued at a location called “Syonan-To”, the “Light of the South”. It was during those uncertain times that Tan Beng Hong and Wee Soo Guat made their promise to marry each other “for better or for worse”.

             The years that followed weren’t exactly easy for the couple, who later became the parents of six children. Living conditions weren’t all that good either, with the family squeezed together in a small apartment unit. But I learnt that my grandparents shared whatever they had with all those around them. Years later their generosity would be fondly remembered when relative after relative would walk up the stage on that memorable night, to share the extent of the elderly couple’s love for them; of how my grandfather would insist on sending them to school, or of how he would always give them presents.

             I know too, that my grandparents didn’t always have a picture-perfect marriage. There would be quarrels and disagreements, when both sides would express their dissatisfaction and even anger at each other. But I know too that through it all they’ve still managed to stay together. Perhaps it had to do with what my grandmother shared that night – that they were patient with each other and persevered together all the way. However, I know the one thing that really sealed their marriage – the love of God. That has been their legacy to their children, and also to us, their grandchildren. I still see how both my grandparents faithfully go to church every week; how my grandfather always desires to give thanks for every meal and how my grandmother lovingly prepares food for her church on a regular basis. The love of God truly radiates through them.

             That night, the grandchildren got together to sing two songs, a dedication of love to our beloved grandparents. But in our hearts, what we sang were not just two songs, they also told of two lives dedicated to God. The Old Rugged Cross, my grandfather’s favourite, was a symbol of how he would cling to the old rugged cross no matter what became of it, if only to exchange it one day for a crown. Amazing Grace, my grandmother’s favourite, represented her desire to sing God’s praises so many years after the day she first knew Him. Yet the song was more than that – it was also a symbol of what kept the marriage together those sixty years – the amazing grace of God.